BLESSINGS OF BEING A MOM

HOW DO I KNOW I'M FULFILLING MY PURPOSE AS A MOM?
Mother's Day is a day to celebrate the fact that God loves me enough to entrust me with a child's life.  Whether biological or through the blessing of adoption, I know mom's all over the country are reflecting on how we are doing or have done in raising our children.  I am especially blessed to have a smart, thoughtful, creative daughter who today made me stop and think about how my life, my experiences, my actions shape her on a daily basis. And to be perfectly honest -- that scares me to death!

This morning as Bethany and I were driving over to my mom's house to deliver her Mother's Day gift, she struck up a conversation from the back seat as she often does. It usually comes out of nowhere and I spend hours later wondering why something may be occupying her little mind. The gist of it was that she was the only person in her class that was an only child. She said she was lucky... she didn't have to share with anyone.  Not exactly how I want her to think about being an only child, but I had no rebuttal at the time.

Later as we sat watching American Girl movies (my Mother's Day gift was to not have to watch animated movies), I began to reflect on this little conversation that was seemingly insignificant.

THE BLESSING OF GOD'S KINDNESS.
She's an only child not for the lack of trying, but after I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, though everything is now perfectly fine, we chose to leave it up to God and not pursue medical advancements to conceive a second child. I feel like God has provided amazing grace already in my life. As undeserving as I am, I didn't.. I couldn't... ask for more.

1 Peter 5:10
¹⁰ But God shows undeserved kindness to everyone. That’s why he appointed Christ Jesus to choose you to share in his eternal glory. You will suffer for a while, but God will make you complete, steady, strong, and firm. 

 How true that verse is to me. Though my dreams don't come true the way I think maybe they should, there's no doubt that through suffering, God has made me more complete, steadier, stronger and firmer in my faith. And because God made me complete, steady, strong and firm (in my faith), I am raising my beautiful girl the best I know how. 

When reflecting on my trials and tribulations, I can't help but wonder, what would I be without my suffering? I share my life with my mom and step-dad, my sister, brother-in-law, nephew, in-laws and wonderful extended family. I have a job, a nice roof over my head, a faithful husband that loves me, and yes, that amazing daughter that began this whole thought process with her conversation starter that came out of nowhere... or maybe it came from God on this special day.  

WHAT IS SUFFERING?
Was multiple back surgeries in my teens and early 20's suffering? Was losing my dad when I was 22 suffering? What about the numerous jobs that were painfully wrong for me? Was living with my in-laws for a year as we built our beautiful home suffering? Was returning to school full-time, working full-time and being a wife and mom suffering? Was discovering I had a brain tumor suffering? Was realizing a second child was not in our future suffering? Was nursing my husband through back surgery and heart procedures suffering? Is enduring massive changes and disappointments in my career suffering?

Without experiencing physical pain in my life, I wouldn't have compassion for those that suffer from injury or illness. Without losing my Dad, I wouldn't cherish my relationship with my mom knowing I'm blessed to still have her in my life. My mom and sister became much more important in my life after my Dad was gone. I learned that life is short and to not take those we love for granted.  

Without having to live with my in-laws while building our dream house, I wouldn't have practiced patience for a full year and learned that through prayer, God can keep us from saying things we will later regret. And the sometimes the best thing to do is live by example.  

Through going back to school full time for my master's degree while being a working mother and coach's wife, I learned I can accomplish anything through hard work and dedication. And I showed my daughter that she can do anything she sets her mind to.

Through a brain tumor, I experienced God's peace -- God's amazing peace that surpasses all understanding. I know it's real.

Through taking care of my husband during injury, I grew to appreciate what he does for us daily. And through the discovery of his heart condition, I realized my love for him is greater than I even knew it was.  

ONE ACTUALLY IS ENOUGH FOR ME.

Through knowing more biological children were not in our future, I came to understand that what God gave me was more than enough. I have the most amazing daughter imaginable. As she enters her preteen years (a little early), I hope to keep in mind that she is everything God needs her to be for me. She will challenge me in the best ways. She will love me deeper than I deserve. She will be my best friend and I will be her greatest enemy all in the same day -- or the same hour perhaps.  I know the days ahead are not going to be easy, but they are going to be what God needs them to be for my life and hers. 

So over the next 10 -15 years, I will do my best to improve myself through each trial and tribulation that comes my way -- for her sake.  I will show her daily that through faith, goodness, understanding, self-control and yes, patience with her when she rears her ugly teenage attitude, I will show her God's greatest blessing in my life is her. I will show her how through parenting her, she is making me into the faithful servant God is calling me to be. And through my love for her, I hope she finds God has blessed her with a mother that is not even close to perfect -- but is just good enough to make her into the complete, steady, strong and firm woman of God that He designed her to be.

GROW IN GOD THROUGH EACH SIGN OF SUFFERING.
Everyone has their own mountains to climb. And I know she will have her own when trying to deal with the perfectly imperfect mother that I am. But with God, all things are possible, right? 

So I pray to teach her that yes, you do have to share with others even when you don't have siblings. But no matter what you have and what you share with others, the most important thing to share is faith. I feel like if she learns to share her faith, she will have no problem sharing love, kindness, understanding, and patience to those that cross her path. And that is a mother's dream come true.

2 Peter 1:5-8
⁵ Do your best to improve your faith. You can do this by adding goodness, understanding, ⁶ self-control, patience, devotion to God, ⁷ concern for others, and love. ⁸ If you keep growing in this way, it will show that what you know about our Lord Jesus Christ has made your lives useful and meaningful.